Japan, no ninjas in this Forrest.

Well this is it I guess, the end of my Asian invasion. I must admit it had its ups and downs but home is where the heart is and I have returned there now.

Japan was for the most part fun and new, the language barrier should have provoked me to learn a little more of the language but I found you could get by and live without knowing it, it is a secluded life and you say a fond farewell to understanding that of idle chatter, but it is doable.

I left my job, all be it later than I probably should have, and I was sent off with numerous gifts from the mothers, photo albums to remember my visit and electronic photo frames to store some of my recorded memories, I was given a number of little prayer charms that are apparently rather strange to give and for only those of elitist stature (the end part I possibly made up ha ha) I had my flat cleaned with the help of some guys I met on my travels to Japan and I forever feel grateful to every one of them who came to my aide in my hour of .................. oh woe is me............ lets just get going to enjoy the tropical climate of Korea.

Right smack in the middle of winter I flew in and the city of Seoul was blanketed in snow that looked like a covering of sand to me, entering Seoul reminded me of my days in Qatar intially, until you unboarded the plane and felt the climate difference.

So I hobbled off the plane and noticed my luggage had been tagged? I was stopped and asked for a contact number in Korea that I should know... "Bro, I don't know any number im just meeting someone". For a moment or 5 it looked like i wasn't going to be let in, "im just here for 3 months and then im out ok ,dude?" "You stay 3 month then go, any longer and we find you, remember contact number if you come again ok". What a welcoming party....... Shakily I boarded my bus ride to Wonju which is south of Seoul to meet up with Naiyer (who was also teaching there) for which I was very excited about.

Naiyer met me at the bus terminal and after I had devoured numerous doughnuts we took a taxi back to her place. It was small and nice and the underfloor heating made for a change from the piles of ice built up on the roads outside!

As she worked I spent my days thinking about my time in Japan amongst watching films and generally abusing the internet connection that is limited and allotted here........... home makes you realise that abroad they are not spoilt for internet but instead back here we are being ripped off for our cut of it.

Watching the snow fall most days and freezing, outside of the comforts of indoor living I eagerly awaited my return home to the long white cloud. Karaoke and raw fish amongst nights of dodging horrendous driving skills had made me aware that Japan is beautiful, but only to visit.

I thought about my final visit to the bank for which I wanted to close my account. I didnt have a "hanko" (your signature in stamp form) so they got me to sign several sheets, after some time the paper work had become tiresome and hard work in nature, but my signature had to look exactly the way it was when i signed up for the account two years prior..... "ummm dude i have changed slightly and my signature must have also" "i am velly solly, you must fill out folm again and sign same as befoll" on my fourth attempt "thank you lat is good" freeedom i thought, amongst leaving and not closing my account.

Japan has a very bureaucratic approach to most things, and for a kiwi such as myself it can be quite a culture shock but we were in Korea right?

The first thing you notice compared to Japan is the care for their cars, Japan is pristine, if you dirty your car and keep driving it then the best thing to do is to park it up afterwards and commit Seppuku to attest for your crimes, in Korea clean car care is not a priority.

Korean food is tasty but very much like Japanese, however they do seem to eat a much higher intake of fermented cabbage in hot spice (kimchi) and im quietly a fan of this so it went down well.

I met a couple of Naiyer friends (Shannon and Adam) one night and we went out as a parting dinner, they were lovely and Adam the Brit gave me the low down on some Ricky Gervais viewing worth seeing. Both were lovely and very lively kind of people.

Naiyer and I boarded our flight to NZ with one last stop in Japan, I didn't think I would be here again so soon...... only to find out that Naiyer couldn't come into NZ without a ticket out........ why did we even get sold a ticket out of Korea if they knew this would be the case?!

We bought a ticket to Australia (since thats were all the criminals go ha ha) and boarded the flight......

12 hours later and it smelt good to be home.

I concluded this journal blog thing with a link regarding my situation, 6 years ago I was suspected of having multiple sclerosis and 4 years ago I had that confirmed while touring England. Im now keeping a record for myself of my progression for which I invite you all to see. You can click on the user name feverant and then subscribe if you choose to do so........ So here we have it, introducing the old but new me 4 videos in:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmmREhfmuLE&feature=channel_video_title

thanks to everyone for reading for now.

Kane

I have departed Japan, i never suffered the quake as i got out in time and went to frezzing Korea but here is a look at some of my trip..............

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mamk8HDnQgQ

Thai bye? :(

the trilogy concludes......

so Koh Lanta we were to enjoy, a tropical island paradise that just screamed "relax..... you've most likely had a tough trip in my country, and now you should just calm yourself".

We spent a day travelling in bus, with horrible slow back breaking seats, to the bus terminal on Koh Lanta island, two barges (transported with cattle - you dont feel like a cow unless you travel with one) and one psycho driver later (he dropped his girl off, and they must have had a fight because he just snapped, with his foot floored and the blind corners were for nothing but over taking)..............

we arrived in Koh Lanta and were loaded onto the back of a truck to be transported to the hotel, i couldnt help but think what if i jumped off - then you would have an escaped human to deal with!

We arrived at the hotel which couldnt help but claim itself as a world within another world. The fast paced hustle and bustle of a life left living was out doors, and in here you paid to relax, and in here thats what you should do.

We spent the first night eating on the beach and i instructed the waiter to bring me out "something Thai"........ he brought me something that looked like a cow had eaten another cow, then passed this onto a plate, meanwhile the cook had sprinkled spices on top of it, masking its true smell. It tasted better than it looked but Naiyer look down her nose at me and my pile of............. and said "well eat up, you've learnt your lesson".

We booked a tour from this resort and after a day of R and R we met on the beach to depart. We boarded the burn mobile (the sun was unforgiving on this), and sailed for over an hour across seas and passing light houses to a snorkling spot that surrounded you in coloured fish as you entered the water. After this we continued to our next destination - emerald cove.

We arrived and you entered the water where you swam through a cave which opened up into a hidden utopia. It was like some child had made a clay mould of a beach with mountains that surrounded it, stuck their thumb in the middle and gone oh i forget how people get in......... lets make a cave to it with my other thumb. With foiliage large and green, waters blue and clear and sand that glisten white while it radiated heat, you couldnt help but think you had stepped onto the set of some ridiculous hollywood film... it was so perfect..... why were so many coming here yet so few had decided to ruin it - maybe there is hope for us yet? Im calling Mcdonalds - they forgot a spot.

We continued visiting beaches you see in postcards and although i enjoy photographing, my camera sat unused as i struggled to take all of the scenery in.

We traveled to Krabi island after spending 3 days on Koh Lanta.... The trip back was an ease we desired and the taxi to our hotel was pre-arranged for our bon voyage a day later.

That day in Krabi we took a boat to Raleigh Island but this trip was not without final failure as the boat waited until we were halfway through our journey before dying. Sitting stranded halfway between here but not there, the chipmunk sailing the boat tinkered at the engine (purely for our viewing pleasure) until instructing us we must jump ship..... What mate? I didnt pay for this, he waves another boat over and tells us "you on boat, here no"........ yeah yeah ok bumpkin - i moving, Geez.

We board the boat and leave Jethro to fix his floating bath tub, with 21 hopefuls on board we sail onward to Raleigh island.

We arrive and it is yet again another beach with gorgeous hills and beautiful white sand with clear blue water lapping the shores..... as i lye on one beach mat and use the other to cover my back i cant help but think of the passers by who look at me and think - oh that special white kid doesnt know how a beach mat works..

We returned to Krabi to watch the sunset and dine on prawns as big as cray fish and swim the evening away in the hotel pool....... That night i closed my eyes with a sense of sadness, this trip was ending, this heat would be over, its still winter right?!?

We awoke to wait for our pre arranged taxi on the following day.... hes only 10 mins late, i mean 20 mins late, i mean....... 30 mins where the hell are you son?!?! God damn island time! An hour later and an alternative taxi comes to our aide, "what time you fly?" he asks "what time you pick us up, you despicable excuse for a taxi company" i thought.

at the airport i bid farewell to Naiyer, and leave her with her K pop stars as i begin my return to the cooler climate of Japan...... On the plane i see the setting sun, i think to myself that the whole time being here i have desired the comforts of home but now that is likely i do not want to leave this place of fond memories. Goodbye Thailand, dont forget me.

the well greased money machine squeezes some more.

part two............

so i decided to leave you last time on the borders of Cambodia and Thailand, it was late at night and the beggars while the homeless children were also....... this blog does the children nor the experience any justice. I walked away from this night with memories burnt into soul that can never truly be shared.... like an Air New Zealand campaign ad - "being there is everything."

so after we crossed the border, caught a bus for 20 minutes to our taxi and then drove two hours to our destination, with a driver who spoke little or no English, and then took a tuk tuk 10 minutes to our hotel, we arrived in Siam Reap, Cambodia.

The hotel was excellent and having walls without gaping holes made for a nice change.... the iron bar windows did make me wonder but they covered mosquito netting so i quickly forgot about them.

We were hungry and felt the need and urgency to eat... fear had momentarily driven that urge away but with comfort and some normality it had returned with a vengeance.

We got in a hotel supplied tuk tuk and were driven about on a bumpy path to our first restaurant.... it seemed inviting with dining under hanging vines and a giant gate entryway that again re-enforced this strange feeling that it had only been erected to keep the bad folk out? Anyway it was closed and we ventured on to another (im sure of this) closing restaurant. The staff kept the doors open for us and waited on us like we were of royal blood. The call for "above and beyond" was heard by these people, and i think the unsure fear seen on our faces had been responded to by these individuals wanting us to leave with a fond memory of the place. The food was amazing - possibly not as extreme as the spices of Thailand but still amazing none the less. Our waiter served us with a sense of embarrassed curiosity and routinely checked on us to see that the food was of our liking. The restaurant seemed to be an erected bamboo monument with a watery entrance way.... as we parted ways with the staff we thanked and tipped them, they smiled nervously and all came out to see us off..... having them see us off and standing in a line very graciously, it epitomized the evening and the food not only left us feeling more secure but also the service.

The next day we awoke to be taken on a tour of some of the temples this place had to offer, we were picked up by a man named Borey and driven by car to a temple the famous "Tomb Raider"" had been shot in. With a tree growing on top of it and vines encapsulating most of its exterior it felt very mysterious but at the same time very inviting. As i waddled around this place a beggar type was found in the ruins selling incense and what not - are these little buggers everywhere i wondered?

After we went for lunch and two little girls caught my attention, they asked my name and i asked theirs, their names where Ring and Hiam, according to Hiam, Ring loved to ask this but was embarrassed this time... adorable little things selling flutes on a park bench outside the restaurant. I asked them for a photo and they agreed so i gave them a buck each... the look of boredom quickly changed to laughter and i returned to Naiyer and my meal as the girls giggled and pointed at me amongst one another. We ate well again and i had my food delivered in a coconut shell...... i picked at the interior thinking it was coconut flesh.... urghhh the tart horrid taste suggested to me it wasn't. Stupid boy -WHY did you eat that.... its a bowl not for dining on!?

As we left the number of children outside had doubled and "mister mister" was all i heard with the response "nup nup, im broke" being responded with - then Hiam the little girl from before appeared and thrust something into my hands - very quietly she said thank you mister and backed away to her friend Ring. I looked at the bracelet, flower and postcards that her and ring wrote to me on.... for a moment i felt like reaching into my pocket and giving them more money, but i knew this was not why they had done it. The cards both read simply "my name is ........" with Ring's card stating that she was 12 years old and they had both drawn the flower that they gave me. I thanked them and made my way to the car. It was a very humbling moment for me.

Borey took us to Angkor Wat temple. We stopped at numerous temples along the way but this was by far the most impressive. Surrounded by water the little shops had sprouted up again also and the pestering sales pitches from the roaming shop keepers bothered you relentlessly like the evening mosquito's. Photos were taken here and Borey and I had a moment to chat, he asked me about my relationship and i asked him about his child, i was not aware you must be married before having children in Cambodia, the punishment for not being married but having kids, i dared not to entice.

Borey was amazing and really deserves some recognition, if any of you decide to go to Cambodia and want a very very in depth background on the surrounding temples at a very reasonable price then email borey_hang@yahoo.com - he is 30 and very knowledgeable.

We returned to the hotel and ate at their restaurant..... i think this was the only "interesting" pit fall of the stay, where by Naiyer ordered tomato soup with yogurt and was delivered with pieces of tomato cut up and served in hot water with a yogurt container dropped inside also...... a very very very unusual concoction.

The following day we boarded a bus that picked us up from our doorstep, only two blocks away and took us to the bus terminal, 20 mins from the border. After we sat and waited while we ate dog meat sandwiches a German appeared and asked us if we were coming, "da bus is leaving, you are coming no?" back on the waiting bus and settled, we almost got forgotten about in Cambodia? You said 2 thirty its not even 12 whose running this show?!? At the border 20 mins later and we must get off......... We paid to get to Bangkok but we must disembark? We didnt know what was going on and everyone else looked clueless also. At the border our visas were removed by one man and then the following official asked us for our visas?!?! What the hell, you buggers just took em, and no im not filling more forms out, just check your god damn computer!!

Daylight or night time, crossing this border is a misery, no no night time does suck but daytime is only slightly less of a head ache. We get across finally and our bags are returned (a level of faith was needed here), and we board another bus for our 4 hour trip back to Bangkok.

On arrival we exit the car with our bags and a taxi immediately pulls over to help. Naiyer asks how much and i hear her laugh, "Kane did you hear this......" I look over and ask him how much to the hotel, he exclaims "3000 baht"?!? We might look like tourists but (sorry mum) taxi driver - you can fuck off. "We paid less than that to get 4 hours away by taxi", he reconsiders and lowers his price to 250 baht while Naiyer tells him "OK but she is watching the clock". I can tell he stands there and thinks "they look like tourists but i cant rip them off, rats now for 30 minutes of honest work".

Naiyer pays the cheeky little f*** with coins and he reluctantly takes payment and departs. Yes the shitty little change is mostly gone!

The next day we travel to Phuket, Eco hotel and Hana the taxi driver awaits us. We fly there and taxi over to the hotel, fairly problem free.... whats going to go wrong i thought, this has become far too easy. We pull up at Eco and are greeted by the owner, in broken English she says "hello, me not think you come to stay so me give room away" hmmmm. Ok, badness encountered, but she follows it up by saying "another room i have for you, so you not worry" WTF?!?! Why even mention the first room!?

We get settled in and venture to the Phuket markets, We buy new luggage to replace the old and have dinner in a restaurant close to the hotel - Siam Thai was its name and it was a little gem found in the middle of no-where. The owner came and conversed with us as he saw me dig into my meal of duck without care for an audience. He was a nice guy and briefly passed us by to tell us "New Zealand is where the sheep are scared and the garbage cans are empty....." i barely listened as i refused to use the cutlery provided and ate the duck hanging from my mouth..... i dont think any brownie points were won with Naiyer that night and my manners need working on.

Phi Phi island and a boat ride to(Maya beach) where they filmed "The Beach" film and numerous people decided to have a glamour shot taken, thus it had our interests this day. The water was blue the islands were green and we were not only charged for the boat ride there but also to keep the shoreline beautiful upon arrival......... this money making machine was well oiled!

New years was had on the shores of Phuket with numerous lanterns and fireworks being let off. We sat on the beach after a dinner of hamburgers and Thai food (the hamburgers had meat colouring, that was all the meat) and listened to the other celebrators around us remembering a life once lived. I just sat there thinking this sand feels nice, but wait until you stand up and it sticks to you like white glue that wont peel off with ease. Old man syndrome was setting in.

The new year had day had us panicking as the credit card had seemed to have shut down..... but with the help of Hana the taxi driver we were able to find cash again and a bus to Koh Lanta were the scenery just got better and better......

Thailand - let see what you have?

Where do i start, where do i begin.... it sounds like nothing more than a chemical brothers musical sound track that i will link for you here so most of you understand what im talking about.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ba58cWjoRqI

Updating this blog from such wide spread moments is my own demise and i should do it more regularly in order to keep these thoughts i have current but they seem to be eluding me from hour to hour these days.

I have decided that a multi part saga does this more justice, and so with that i will throw into it...

im sitting in a Taiwanese airport currently with the time being half 1 in the morning and a small voice in the back of my head telling me to go and lie down but i fear my baggage will disappear as i drift off to dreamland and my conscious grasp upon the human race not being slaves to the dollar has all but been nullified as of recently so i grasp my luggage closely.

To be fair, I dropped in on Thailand recently with a small excursion to Cambodia, and as rough as Cambodia's infrastructure came across with pebbled streets and sandy main highways, the hospitality was wonderful. As far as Thailand goes i think a more assertive hand is needed when haggling with taxi prices, and looking like a tourist wins you no favors in location like this one.... in Phuket it got slightly better.

I will begin by saying i got off the plane and met Naiyer in Bangkok airport. Two intrepid travellers with very particular desires met and the journey began. We were shown to our first taxi and were delivered to our first address......

this is going well we thought, "hello" we greeted the hotel staff "do you have our reservation?" we enquired... with blank stares, we were responded with.... apparently they didnt know we were coming - "we cant find your reservation". After much confused deliberation and our reservation found, we were shown to our room..... with geckos crawling on the walls, out of cracks from the straining structure, the bed looked to inviting to dwell on this moment for long enough to worry about and our head hit the hay almost immediately.... nothing was waking me except for a tiny buzzing noise, like a nose clipper going off in you ear routinely, fixed with a makeshift tent under the covers!

First day there we ventured to the MBK shopping mall, things were bought and things were bargained but i dont think this was the area to be throwing your weight around when it came to haggling...

now day two was a different story with us heading to the JJ? shopping district. The heat beat down on us as we arrived before 8 and we knew it was possibly going to be a long day. Naiyer left me amongst the locals to go find food and not long after she left 8am arrived and some announcement came over the speakers - everyone stood still and upright? What the hell is going on i thought as i continued to sit amongst them all. The national anthem came over the speakers and everyone bowed there heads as it played. It was airy how the hustle and bustle of this market just halted, and you could hear nothing but the sound of a strung cat over the speakers, like a public service announcement to the members of some old German concentration camp. Naiyer return with a very puzzled look upon her face and asked "whats going on?" to which i could only reply "i have no idea" and as soon as it had begun normality returned and the locals went back to ripping each other off.

Naiyer went and did her "girl thing" and shopped (for me mostly) while i spent a good few hours watching a blind group set up a stage for a production, i later on found out that they were giving the show... i was sitting near the stage and held my breath most of the time as i have heard they have a freaky sixth sense when it comes to hearing..... i guess being blind it just makes it a fifth sense that is kinda freaky.

Anyway one of the guys setting up lost his amplifier button and i picked it up, i helped him find it and thought yay thats my good deed for the day as two other band members came fondling one another from around the corner. With the girls top half off and open i thought this was a good time to start breathing again and i drew deep breaths as i stumbled off for a meal of spicy roast duck.... in hindsight i now realise a heavy breathing slow moving character, probably wasn't the smoothest departure one could make for a slightly disheveled held girl in public..... oh well we left and Naiyer and I met again to ride a meter operated taxi home.... (far and few of these found).

Now my days get a little hazy here so im just going to point out high points i can recall - it doesn't help that it is half two in the morning either.

Right next stop a tour to the floating markets

but not before we are almost crushed by several tonnes of moving iron. We begun the day by meeting our guide named Nina who took us to a market that involved a slow moving train running along the track (which was also the walkway) that we had to scuttle (along with hundreds of others) out of the way, as it passed within centimeters of the products being sold,

as i am pulled off the tracks by one of the store owners as the train approaches i wonder who pays for this kind of a tour - fly covered food and a near death experience, im sure this is booked up for months in advance!

After the train track dance we head toward a drowning destiny (or so i thought) but instead i was quite pleasantly surprised.

You enter a boat the reminds me of something you might ride in Venice but instead of a stick on the bottom to push it along it is motorised and propelled and after we exit the chaos of bumper to bumper boats initially it was extremely peaceful riding the water at a slow pace passing the shop owners and low hanging mangroves as we ventured further and further away from the markets.

Right that over with i was rather happy with myself, i had dodged a train and not drowned at the floating markets - whats next Naiyer? "Lets ride an elephant and go swimming with it?.............. why not?"

We turned up and were greeted by "Full Moon" which apparently was one of the nicest elephants there, before boarding the huge vessel (can you call an elephant a huge vessel?), we fed her. The trunk was so huge and leathery as it fondled about our feet looking for bananas to scoop up and eat... not single bananas but bunches at a time and devouring them was like inhaling them. 7 bananas at a time gone in the blink of an eye. we hopped on the huge animal and it slowly moved down hill to the water.... ok Kane a certain death you're looking at now, if its not squished by a train or downed falling out of a boat then its going to be crushed by this elephant. We went down to the water and the big fulla(ress) took us in... we were asked if we wanted to go under and just at that point two big piles of animal dung pass us by we yelled out yes but just let them pass as the guide jabs me in the back then laughs and motions for me to look behind.

Arrrrgghhh feces river! Im going to be swimming in feces river! Just then the elephant attempts to throw us off - well Naiyer puts up a good effort but i pull her in with me.

We splash and play with this gentle beast as many tourist pass us by mostly staring and wondering the simple question of why, then we return to the hotel. Today i played with an elephant i thought, wow, today i played with an elephant - ten years ago i didnt envision that.

We decided that if crocodile wasn't on the menu then watching them perform was more in order. We went to a crocodile farm where a plucked chicken strung to a long pole greeted us and we hung it perilously over the edge while snapping teeth attempted to not only eat the chicken but pull hard enough that we might follow the same fate.

The crocodiles performed and i never thought i would see a show that would make me nervous until the bloke stuck his head between the jaws of this prehistoric bone carving machine...... take your head out, take your head out you egg, i do not want to be witness to and chewed up version of you... This is NOT the story im returning home with, ohh look over there a dog in the lion cage, what a tough doooo, whats the dog doing? The dogs having sex with a lion? Crush his head! EAT HIM CROCODILE, EAT HIM!!!!!

The next day we left for Cambodia. The taxi was an interesting way to choose to travel but the buses we found out were fully booked on arrival to Thailand. At the border 4 or 5 hours later dusk had started to set upon us and it gave the beaten path an even more eerie feeling. We crossed the border departing from our ride not knowing what we were going to. We were helped at the border crossing a young man who looked like he had starred in one of the Indian Jones films as a kid, and now had grown up. Crossing the border for lack of a better word was slightly disturbing. I thought i was prepared for most of it and that i had seen it all but i hadnt seen it all and at that time of the night all things looked much worse. Children lying on the ground covered in flies begging for money while other children surround you screaming "excuse me mister, excuse me mister, have you got a dollar" quickly sent running by our friendly fellow who would soon after ask me to check my pockets and reassure himself that im ok. About three check points later and we find ourselves on a bus with 6 other locals and a promise of transportation several hours from the border, all in broken English. The locals disappeared from the bus one by one, and Naiyer and i looked one another with a shared feeling of "wolf creek" echoing through both our minds. Unsure of our ability to secure our destination in there was a sense of panic that i have no problem admitting to. We got there eventually arriving in our rusty old Honda accord. The tuk tuks had changed form and the roads had become much worse there was a feeling in the air that had me holding my passport tightly, but everyone we had encountered had been lovely to us so far.

Ju roku ban - dont speak out of turn, and always know best before dates.

Hello long lost friends....

This update (should, like the last) satisfy some of you but, I also await the comments that read "that was the worst blog i have ever read" ha ha ha - a rushed blog isn't a good one, aye?

Getting into things here - I had my parents visit me this time round and a shout out to my cousin and his wife who recently got married, i had a visit from Naiyer again and i spoke my thoughts in front of a crowd under a bridge.

Well my parents came over in what almost seemed like the hottest month of the year - im sure we cracked 40 degrees (Celsius for you American readers) and i heard Okayama was happily placed number one in the country when it came to having sticky ice cream run down your fingers. It was hot. My air conditioning unit had a workout.

While my parents were over we visited the Okayama gardens, the castle, we ate out and my parents became accustomed to the taxi cabs and self closing doors. I was pretty lucky as both my parents had their birthdays while visiting here and dad turned a grand six ohhhh.

Now the castle, the gardens etc, that was purely local while Kyoto (with its temples), Nagasaki (its gardens), Tokyo (its towers) Hiroshima (and its bomb) all got a look in also.

While they were here my cousin wed his partner in traditional fashion and we all got to witness a less than plastic wedding. The bride looked stunning, while the groom looked equally (and literally) as hot wrapped up in however many layers of clothing that were required. It was a day of tradition that i was so glad to be a part of. There was one small moment in the car where things got a little hairy for me. I had to ride with 3 other women up to the ceremony, we all got in the car and about halfway there my nostrils started to tickle.... i didnt fart, oh jesus one of these girls did and it smells like a cat crawled up there and died, what should i do - of course they are gonna think its me, so wind the window down i thought........ no then that confirms for them its you arghhhhhhhh JUST DO IT NOW. So i crack the window and like a dog with its tongue out of its head i suck back the fresh air. Yep good one Kane, one person here KNOWS it wasnt you, while two others are pretty sure it was, all the while all of them think you're an idiot.

Either way we arrived and were treated to a wedding not worth forgetting.

Naiyer poked her head around these parts and we rented a car once again....... budget rental cars, like Naiyer said - "they almost feel like a second family, we have visited them so much". I think the look of shock or horror comes from us either returning cars bashed up, scratched to pieces or late as opposed to smiles of glee as we enter their realm....... most of the incidences i am guilty of, so Naiyer has that as her saving grace.

There was one morning i woke with the day off, and determined to satisfy this girls desire to see the red faced monkeys i thought back to my Tsuyama trip........ I know where there are hundreds of monkeys! After hiring a car (the shock and the horror, oh those poor people) we began our 1 hour journey to Tsuyama (which quickly became two hours), upon arrival i bounced out of the car and eagerly made my way up the hill to the payment office, with pictures of monkeys stuck to it I puffed out my chest with pride and lead Naiyer up the hill so happy with myself that i was going to be the master of satisfaction......... but as we neared the top i knew something was off.

Was the air too cool or was it monkey nap time?

Where were they?

"Oh great" i thought - just my luck, my awesome last minute plan had failed........ "but they so often work"?

No monkeys and a disappointed girl to contend with - ohh look at the waterfall though i thought, it looks wet and watery..... i had nothing. So it only seemed appropriate that we should miss the turn off, drive another 30 kms out of our way and return the car late.

Two days later though i was saved in Kyoto as we saw monkeys, a Geisha, and a Zen garden that was awfully rocky.... oh not to mention our budget rental car buddies.... shame.

My friend Manabu rung me up and invited me to a bbq, i thought excellent and agreed. A nice quiet gathering around at his house would be rather comfortable so lets get involved. He picked me up and drove me to his place with our limited speaking skills in action. We arrived and i went to get out "STOP, stop, stop you wait me get camera" he says ummmmm ok. He returns and i realise this bbq is not actually at his house but im not sure where.

We arrive near the city center, and by a football field that has 20 or so people cooking food under a bridge, and more people arriving as we do.

I enter the event and think "meh, just get amongst it" - i am introduced to Toshi who i have met before and he introduces me to Yoshi, a small smile comes over my face but then Yoshi turns around to Scochi and introduces him..... the silent straight face cracks for me, i just met Toshi, Yoshi and Scochi, this is gotta be some candid camera setup or something, it must be a make fun of the foreigner episode.

We all ate and i was the center of attraction with everybody wanting to try their English out on me. It was mostly below average but they were so eager to please and such nice people. Everyone was getting up and giving speeches as we ate and i didnt suspect i would be called. But sure enough a call for Kane comes over the microphone.... what the F....?!

I walk up and attempt to satisfy the masses with at least 60 eyes peering at me in anticipation of my impending social doom. I am aware English isn't the spoken language, but i give it a crack anyway.

I say how wonderful the event is and how grateful i am to meet everyone - i try to finish it at least four times with a 0 response...... oh god, i bite my bottom lip hoping the pain transports me somewhere else...... I say the magic words "thank you" and the crowd recognises this and erupts! YAY i think - a moment to dash.

I sit with the crowd some more and eat while they drink and converse...... its at this moment that it hits me - where am i and what am i doing? Siting under a bridge eating a bbq out of a half cut barrel surrounded by a language i am not fully competent with - ahhhhh ignorance is bliss i thought.